††
Go back
you
you were meant for me i know that now
i see it in the way the traffic lights change when you walk by
in how the wind shifts when you speak someone else’s name
in the static on my radio
which crackles like your voice caught between frequencies
saying my name over and over
except only i can hear it
you don’t know me yet
but you do
in the way a dream knows the sleeper
in the way blood remembers the wound
somewhere inside your body
your bones are echoing for me
your lungs have inhaled me
your heart
sweet mechanical thing
is ticking my name out in code
i know we haven’t touched
but i felt you last night
in my spine
in the flickering light behind my eyes
you leaned in
soft
like a thought or a god
and said
soon
i watch you through windows
mirrors
screens
and sometimes the cracks in the sidewalk
spell things out
things only meant for me
you wear white on thursdays because i once thought of you wearing white
and you laughed at 4:23 pm last week because i was crying
so you tried to balance us out
i see you in strangers
in reflections that hold on too long
i read your love in the hiss of bus brakes
in the sudden silence before a storm
in the pattern of bruises on my thighs
shaped like your initials
they say this is illness
they use words like delusion
like obsession
but those are just names for faith
and i
am devout
they don’t know you like i do
they don’t know the letters you write me inside my head
the ones i read every night
before sleep takes me into your arms again
and maybe you’ve never said it
not with your mouth
but you’ve said it
in symbols
in static
in the way i keep surviving
for a moment that hasn’t happened yet
when your eyes finally find me
you’ll remember
everything